![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
teh-bug.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
franklin_bashTitle: 10 Times Beasties Crashed the Infeld-Daniels Christmas Party
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
teh_bug
Paring: mostly gen; Damien&Hanna (friendship?) mistletoe kisses
Rating: PG
Prompt: #7
Words: ~3700
Summary: It wouldn't be a Christmas party without unicorns dressed in tinsel.
Warnings: Your disbelief, suspend it here, please!
Notes: This is more or less a sequel to “7 Times Jared's Smile Created Unicorns.” You don't have to read that one first, but everything including names, descriptions, and the “reasoning” behind the mythical creatures can be found there. Also, while you're reading that fic (if you haven't already) you should check out these posts byjekesta featuring the unicorns and dragons and dodos. Also, I am so, so, so, SO sorry this is as late as it is... Merry Late Christmas...?
0.
With Peter close behind, Jared approached Stanton after the weekly meeting, “So, uh, about the party tomorrow...”
“Ah, yes, the Christmas party!” Stanton beamed delightedly, “you two are coming, yes?”
“Oh, oh, yeah, yeah,” said Jared.
“Wouldn't miss it for the world,” chimed in Peter.
“But I was wondering, you know, since this is a somewhat casual affair,” Jared waved his hand explanatorily, “if I could bring my unicorns.”
“Oh, but of course!” Stanton waggled a finger at Jared cheerily, “the real question is if you can keep them out!”
“Well, see, I don't think I can, which I why I asked...” Jared trailed off underdramatically.
Peter put a hand on Jared's shoulder. “We'll be there, Stanton,” he promised, “unicorns and fairies and all.”
“I look forward to it! Oh, gentlemen, don't forget,” Stanton called after them, “Santa hats are mandatory!”
1.
“Did you decorate your unicorns?”
Really, Jared thought, it was almost impressive how much disdain could be injected into a single word. He stared back at Karp nonplussed. “They wanted to look festive! 'Tis the season to be jolly and all that.”
Mulberry and Sparkles whinnied in agreement. Golden Moon nibbled at Karp's pants. The trio had tinsel draped around their horns and the fairies had thoughtfully woven green and red ribbons into their manes.
“Hey! Off!” Karp pushed Golden Moon away.
“Also,” Jared added pointing to a spot right above Peter's left shoulder, “Peter's fairies got dressed up too!”
Amaryllis and Tatiana waved. They were both clothed in miniature red Santa dresses and tiny Santa hats. However, in true fairy style and despite the cold weather, they had opted not to wear boots, but instead remained barefoot. In unison, they blew a kiss at Damien and then fluttered off, down the hallway to where the sounds of festivities where starting to perk up.
Damien stared. “Where did you find...?”
“No idea, bro,” Peter said affably; he readjusted his own Santa hat, “Christmas magic and all that jazz.”
Damien rolled his eyes and poofed a dragon onto his shoulder.
The dragon, who was hatless, hissed and lashed its tail irritably.
Peter and Jared exchanged mock-disapproving looks.
“Seriously?” asked Peter. “It's Christmas time! You guys can't stop being constantly angry for two minutes?”
“Gentlemen! So good of you to be here!” Stanton strode into the small circle interrupting something that sounded like “Not with you two around...” from Damien's corner. He looked at the trio approvingly. “I'm glad to see you all wore your hats!”
Peter tipped forward in a half-bow and acted like he was going to take his hat off. “What can we say? Some days we like to dress up.”
“Karp's dragon isn't wearing a Santa hat,” said Jared righteously.
Karp shot him an annoyed look. “What are we, five? Are you going to tattle on everything I do now?”
“Karp's being a grumpypants,” Jared tattled.
“Damien's dragon? Ah, yes, Percy,” said Stanton catching sight of the dragon sitting on Karp's shoulder and ignoring Jared's last outburst. “Percy has a tendency to catch things on fire, so I suppose we'll have to let him get away with it this time.”
“Percival, Stanton,” sighed Karp tiredly, “this is Percival.”
Percival squawked indignantly.
“Yes, well,” Stanton harrumphed. “He looks like a Percy.”
“No, you don't,” Damien reassured Percival under his breath. He reached up and scratched under Percival's chin. “You really, really don't.”
2.
“Hey, girls! You came back!”
Tatiana and Amaryllis swooped down on either side of Peter's face and nuzzled his cheeks.
“Awwwww,” Peter grinned. He held up his cup and tilted it towards them at a 45 degree angle for easier access. “Eggnog?”
Carmen made a dubious face. “Are you sure you should be giving them alcohol?”
Peter shrugged. “Why shouldn't I be? Fairies like to have fun too, don't ya girls?”
Tatiana lifted her mouth from the rim of the cup and nodded; she had a foam beard bubbling on her chin.
Amaryllis giggled and leaned forward to wipe the foam off Tatiana's face.
“See,” said Peter, “they're just fine.”
Tatiana leaned backwards to avoid Amaryllis' hand, balanced unsteadily on the rim of the cup to pivot away....and promptly fell in with a soft “ploop!”
Amaryllis laughed and dove in after.
“Whoops,” said Peter peering into the cup.
“Huh,” said Carmen in the tone she used when she was trying very hard not to make judgmental statements.
“Are they drunk?” asked Jared in surprise, “Already?”
“No, no, no!” protested Peter giving Carmen a frantically innocent look, “they're not drunk. They're just...tipsy. You know, tiny bodies, tiny alcohol tolerance.”
Eggnog splashed over the rim of the mug and onto Peter's hand. The fairies had decided a “water-fight” was in order.
“Very tiny tolerance,” said Carmen, giving the mug another long look.
3.
Jared grinned and sidled up to Hanna, “I see you brought your sphinxes.”
“Just one,” said Hanna. She scratched down the sphinx's spine in between her wings. “I tried, but I couldn't keep her away.”
“That's what I hear happens.”
The sphinx, who was laying on the tabletop and was about the size of a large cat, closed her eyes and purred.
“Her name's Cassandra,” said Hanna.
“Cassandra, huh?” Jared leaned over and stroked a paw. “Well, you're a pretty girl, Cassandra, but you failed to follow dress code. Someone's not wearing a Santa hat.” He tut-tutted.
Cassandra opened one golden eye and magnanimously allowed Jared to keep petting her paw.
“It's okay,” Jared told Hanna conspiratorially, “Damien's dragon isn't wearing a Santa hat either.”
“It's Damien,” said Hanna with an amused shrug, “and it's his dragon. I think if they both had to wear Santa hats, something would get lit on fire.”
“Well,” she amended, taking a sip of eggnog, “more things would get set on fire anyways.”
4.
“Hey, don't look now,” Jared stage-whispered to Peter, “but I think there's a mermaid in the punchbowl.”
“Oh, that's one of Henderson's,” said Debbie helpfully. She munched on a chocolate covered pretzel. “Every year he does this. He drinks a little bit too much, gets a little bit happy and then boom! Mermaids!”
“And they end up the punchbowl, because...why again?” asked Peter.
Debbie looked up at him like it was obvious. “Well, where else are you going to put a mermaid on short notice? They need to be kept wet, right?”
“But in the punch bowl?” asked Jared in a tone that suggested he wasn't quite sure how he felt about this.
“That we drink out of?” asked Carmen in a tone that suggested that she knew exactly how she felt about it.
Debbie shrugged. “I think they like the colors?”
Peter, Jared and Carmen traded looks.
“Ew,” said Carmen.
Mulberry blew a raspberry in agreement.
5.
“Snraack!” snapped Percival angrily and spat out a small flame.
“Yowch!” said Peter, pulling back his hand and flapping it in the air frantically to cool it. He gave the dragon a dirty look. “I wasn't even trying to pet you that time!”
Percival snarled and made a cranky chattering noise with his teeth.
“What is with you?” Peter demanded.
“Were you going for the marshmallows?” asked Hanna, coming up beside Peter.
“Yeah, or piece of cheesecake,” Peter pouted. “I was going to dip it in the chocolate.”
“That would be your problem,” said Hanna wisely. She reached for a skewer and deftly snatched up two marshmallows. “Percival likes marshmallows. He's guarding them.”
“For who, Karp?”
“Nope,” Hanna shook her head, skewering the marshmallows. “Karp doesn't like marshmallows. As far as Percival's concerned, those marshmallows belong to him now.”
“So you're saying if I want marshmallows tonight, I have to sleep with Karp?”
Percival growled and shot out a flame that stopped just short of Peter's chest.
Hanna chuckled, “I'm saying if you want a marshmallow or anything dipped in chocolate you should learn to appease the dragon.”
She held out the skewer in front of Percival.
Obligingly, Percival lit them on fire.
Hanna blew them out and delicately pulled one off and gave it to Percival. “He prefers them cooked,” she explained, eating the other one.
“And he couldn't do this himself because...” asked Peter.
“Tiny arms; he can't reach far enough out to flame,” said Hanna. She held up a finger to her lips, “but don't bring it up. He's sensitive.”
“Huh,” said Peter. He looked at Percival consideringly.
“Rawr!” Percival challenged.
6.
Carmen leaned back against a wall and surveyed the room. Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers, as far as the eye could see.
And mythical creature guests, she thought wryly, like Noah's Ark meets Lisa Frank.
“Good to see you here, Miss Philips,” said Stanton coming up beside her. He nodded towards the crowd, “I must admit, though. I'm surprised you didn't bring one of your own.”
Carmen bit her lip and tilted her head in confusion, “Come again?”
Stanton frown in mild puzzlement, “You haven't gotten yours yet?”
“My what?”
“Ah, but of course,” Stanton smiled enigmatically, “Don't worry, my dear, lawyers aren't the only ones that get to have fun.” He winked.
“Uh huh,” said Carmen. She took a drink of eggnog.
Something soft and warm butted Carmen's leg.
Carmen looked down, “Well, hey there.”
Cassandra twined herself around Carmen ankles and purred.
“Looks like you just made yourself a friend,” Stanton smiled and patted Carmen on the back. “You seem like a cat kind of woman...”
7.
“Damn it, Henderson!” Damien none-to-gently dumped the tiny mermaid back into the punch bowl. “I almost drank you,” he told her remonstratively.
“Wheee!” said the mermaid, splashing in the mini-current. She swam to the edge of the punch bowl and propped herself up, fluttering her tail coquettishly.
“Uh, no,” said Damien with an unimpressed smile. “How 'bout you try that with someone else? Go flirt with Bash's fairies.”
“Meep!” said the mermaid with a frown and splashed punch at him.
“Getting into trouble again, Damien?” asked Hanna walking up beside him. She reached for a cup, saw the frowning mermaid and thought better of it.
“There was a mermaid in my punch,” said Damien petulantly, nodding at the punch bowl.
“I see that,” said Hanna, wandering in the direction of the eggnog. She made motion over her shoulder for Damien to follow. “Good thing you didn't drink her; she might've got stuck in your throat.”
“Ugh,” said Damien, following behind. “Sparkling sushi.”
Hanna twisted around and scrunched up her face in mild distaste, “Ewww.”
“What?” asked Damien innocently, “it's true.”
Hanna put a hand on her hip and gave Damien a disapproving look.
Damien shrugged.
A pair of fairies tittered drunkenly and hovered over them, holding a sprig of mistletoe between them.
Damien gave them the stink eye, “Really?”
The fairies chirruped happily, fearlessly and teetered unstably to the left. The one with blue wings sprinkled glitter on Damien's head.
Damien glared harder.
Hanna bit down on a smile. She reached over and dusted the glitter off Damien's head and away from his eyes. “Oh come on, Damien, it's Christmas time. Don't be such be such a Scrooge.” She let her hand drift to his shoulder and stepped closer. “Besides, it's not like we've never done this before.”
“Oh,I don't know,” said Damien smirking and suddenly in a much better mood. “It's been awhile. I might've forgotten how.”
“Mmmm,” purred Hanna. “I bet you haven't.”
“I bet you're right,” agreed Damien and smothered her smile with his.
8.
“Hey girl,” Peter greeted.
Cassandra growled.
“Er, lady,” Peter hastily amended. He held up a chocolate covered strawberry placatingly. “Strawberry?”
Cassandra sniffed the proffered treated thoughtfully. She batted her paws around it in a loose hold and brought the fruit to her mouth, biting it viciously.
“Heh. So bribery is all it takes to get on your good side, huh?” Peter crossed his arms and gave himself a mental congratulatory pat on the back. “I think I'm finally starting to get how this office works.”
Cassandra paused in the licking of her paws to give Peter a contemptuous look.
“Or maybe not?”
Cassandra resumed cleaning her paws and didn't deign to answer.
Golden Moon neighed and trotted over to them, his hooves click-clocking on the floor.
“Hey buddy!” Peter grinned and ruffled Golden Moon's ears. “Did you come to say hi?”
Golden Moon rubbed his head against Peter's waist.
“That's what I thought!” Peter laughed.
Cassandra sat up sharply, “Mew!”
Golden Moon turned towards her and made an inquisitive noise.
“Mew!” Cassandra repeated imperiously and in a single bound, hopped onto Golden Moon's back.
Golden Moon turned back towards Peter.
Peter put his hands up helplessly, “Don't look at me; you're the one who said yes to whatever she asked.”
“Mrummpf!” Golden Moon made a disagreeable sound through his nose.
“Mrr!” commanded Cassandra and clapped her paw to his side.
9.
“Hey,” said Jared popping up beside Peter, “Where are the marshmallows at? Sparkles is hungry!”
Sparkles nudged Peter's shoulder and made an inquisitive noise.
Peter reached behind him and patted Sparkles on the nose. “Over there,” he pointed, having long since realized the futility of discussing unicorn dietary restrictions with Jared, “next to the chocolate fountain. Be careful though, one of Karp's dragons has set up camp in front of the marshmallows.”
Jared frowned, “Karp likes marshmallows?”
“Nope, but his dragon does.”
“Huh,” said Jared. He turned to his unicorn. “You got that Sparkles?”
Sparkles tossed his head in understanding and trundled off in search of snacks.
“Krrash!” snarled Percival as Sparkles approached.
Unperturbed, Sparkles darted forward, stabbed a marshmallow with his horn and held it front of the dragon.
Percival growled and flamed it.
Sparkles whickered and shook his head to put out the flames. He offered up the blackened marshmallow to Percival again.
Percival hissed and then tentatively scraped off the gooey marshmallow with his claw. He eyed Sparkles suspiciously and licked the melted confection off his paw.
Sparkles made an encouraging noise.
“Shnck!” Percival grunted, in something like tolerance and scooted away from the marshmallows.
Sparkles whinnied happily.
10.
“Unfortunately, ladies and gentlemen, it is that time of the evening when I must insist you leave the office and go home to your loved ones. Or at least a luxury hotel room,” added Stanton with a leering grin. “Good night and good tidings to all! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays, or whatever holiday you kids are celebrating these days.”
Stanton's kirin standing next to him, stomped the floor once and a noise like a gong sounded.
“Merry Christmas, Stanton!”
“Well, look at you being resourceful,” Hanna ran her hand down Cassandra's back as she rode by on Golden Moon's back. Cassandra gave her a proud, pleased look over her shoulder.
She walked to where Damien was standing and tucked her hand into crook of his elbow. “Take me home?”
“Yeah, sure,” said Damien absentmindedly, “Have you seen Percival?”
“Isn't that him over there by there chocolate fountain?”
“Over where...?” Damien trailed off in annoyance.
On the table next to the much diminished chocolate fountain and an empty tray that had at one point held some sort of sweets, Percival lay on his belly, with half-open eyes and sticky marshmallow bits all around his mouth. Two of Peter's fairies, the same ones who'd flown around with the mistletoe, were massaging his back.
“Traitor,” said Damien, without heat.
“Mrawk!” protested Percival sleepily and rolled over on his side to give Tatiana and Amaryllis better access to his softer sides. The fairies giggled in unison and rubbed Percival's belly obligingly. Percival grunted happy smoke trails through his nose.
Hanna rolled her eyes and tugged on Damien's arm, “Come on, let's go.”
“Jared, come on, let's go home.”
“No wait! Peter, I gotta get her number first, I gotta get Jenna's number!”
“Jared, we've been over this,” Carmen sighed long-sufferingly, “If she's this drunk and she still hasn't given you her number, then you're not going to get it from her now.”
“Come on, buddy,” said Peter. He draped one of Jared's arms around his waist, “Let's go home, tuck the unicorns in bed, kiss the fairies goodnight, save Pindar...”
“Whoa, whoa, what?” Carmen stepped in front of the wobbling duo. “What's this about saving Pindar?”
“Didn't you get his phone calls?” asked Peter.
“Noooo,” said Carmen in a tone of growing concern.
Jared waved it off, “Isssh nothing big. Called when me and Jenna were talking. Something about not being alone, not so empty house, never smiling again...”
Something warm and soft bumped into Jared's hand.
Jared looked down and grinned. “Mulberry!” He squeezed Mulberry's nose happily.
Carmen looked at Peter with a dawning realization, “You don't think that he meant...”
Peter shook his head slowly, “No way, he could accidentally...”
“This is Pindar we're talking about...”
“Hey!” said Jared brightly, “do you think Pindar's at home alone with his dodos?”
Bonus: The Dodos (Because No One Should Be Alone When Their Friends Are At a Christmas Party Even If They Really Want to Be)
“So, ummmm, when do you think you guys are going to be coming home?” asked Pindar. He peered over his shoulder anxiously and then hurriedly back to the computer screen.
“Uh, I dunno,” said Peter. He looked at someone or something (probably Jared) off screen. “I mean, Jared looks pretty happy where he's at...”
“I am happy where I'm at!” shouted Jared from off-screen. “Let me see Pindar!”
Obediently, Peter turned the camera towards Jared.
“Pindar!” Jared waved at Pindar drunkenly with one hand, the other was wrapped around the waist of an equally drunk, very beautiful young lady with red hair, more than likely someone's secretary or a junior associate. “This is Jenna,” Jared called out, “she's from Iowa.”
Jenna laughed and a flower nymph dressed in hyacinth flowers poofed into existence in the air right next to her cheek. The nymph gracefully floated down to Jenna's shoulder and blew Jared a kiss.
Peter turned the camera back towards him. “I think we're going to be a while,” he said apologetically. He batted at his ear as something bright and sparkly flew up and hit it, “Ow! What's going--?” In the background, Pindar could hear the high-pitched sounds of fairy anger and what sounded like tiny fireworks exploding. “Okay, look, sorry, Pindar, but I'm going to have to let you go. Apparently, Tatiana and Amaryllis are mad at Jenna's nymphs because they keep touching the unicorns... I gotta go.”
“But wait! What about me?” whined Pindar as the screen flashed up, showing the connection had been disabled. He stuck out his bottom lip miserably.
“Squawk?” asked Terrence the Terrible politely. He fluffed his wings and tottled over to sit at Pindar's feet.
“Oh god,” said Pindar and pulled his feet up against him and into his chair. “Please don't eat me.”
“Smraw?” Mr. Scary Face trundled into the room and stood next to Terrence.
Terrence cocked his head to the side at Mr. Scary Face.
Mr. Scary Face cocked his head back at Terrence in response. “Squar!” He flapped his wings, jumped and ungracefully landed on Pindar's knees.
“Ahhhh!” screamed Pindar.
There was another flapping of wings and Terrence landed on the computer desk next to Pindar. “Squar!”
“Oh no...” moaned Pindar fearfully.
“Squaaawww!” said Mr. Scary Face happily and snuggled against Pindar's shoulder.
“Squa!” chirped Terrence in agreement and rubbed his head on Pindar's hand.
“Meep!” Pindar whimpered.
Bonus the Second: Because Lawyers Aren't the Only Ones Who Get to Have Fun
“Seriously?” Carmen put her hands on her hips. “We have unicorns, fairies, and dodos running around and you guys are going to make a big deal out of Kipling?”
“Yes,” said Jared.
“Absolutely,” agreed Peter emphatically.
“He's a kitty-cat!” protested Carmen.
“Yeah, a kitty-cat that could eat us!” Peter flapped a hand in Kipling's general direction. “Look, look, just look at him!”
On cue, Kipling opened his mouth in a large sweeping yawn; his white teeth flashed in the light.
“Look, teeth!” said Jared, “my unicorns don't have teeth that big!”
“Karp's dragons have teeth and they set fire to things and they hate us,” pointed out Carmen, “Kipling doesn't hate us.”
“He could still kill us,” muttered Pindar under his breath.
Carmen shot him a dark look, “I could kill you too.”
“Meep!” apologized Pindar.
Carmen turned back to Peter and Jared who were suddenly very interested in the floor. “Really guys? Is this how it's going to be?”
Peter and Jared looked at each. “All I'm saying is that I'm going to be very sad if one of my unicorns goes missing.”
“Or one of my fairies!” added Peter.
Carmen rolled her eyes, “You boys.” She bent down and scratched behind Kipling's ears.
Kipling the cougar purred.
P.S. – In case anyone's wondering. Percival is the first dragon injekesta's post and Mr. Scary Face and Terrence are the first and third dodos.
Author:
teh_bugParing: mostly gen; Damien&Hanna (friendship?) mistletoe kisses
Rating: PG
Prompt: #7
Words: ~3700
Summary: It wouldn't be a Christmas party without unicorns dressed in tinsel.
Warnings: Your disbelief, suspend it here, please!
Notes: This is more or less a sequel to “7 Times Jared's Smile Created Unicorns.” You don't have to read that one first, but everything including names, descriptions, and the “reasoning” behind the mythical creatures can be found there. Also, while you're reading that fic (if you haven't already) you should check out these posts by
jekesta featuring the unicorns and dragons and dodos. Also, I am so, so, so, SO sorry this is as late as it is... Merry Late Christmas...?0.
With Peter close behind, Jared approached Stanton after the weekly meeting, “So, uh, about the party tomorrow...”
“Ah, yes, the Christmas party!” Stanton beamed delightedly, “you two are coming, yes?”
“Oh, oh, yeah, yeah,” said Jared.
“Wouldn't miss it for the world,” chimed in Peter.
“But I was wondering, you know, since this is a somewhat casual affair,” Jared waved his hand explanatorily, “if I could bring my unicorns.”
“Oh, but of course!” Stanton waggled a finger at Jared cheerily, “the real question is if you can keep them out!”
“Well, see, I don't think I can, which I why I asked...” Jared trailed off underdramatically.
Peter put a hand on Jared's shoulder. “We'll be there, Stanton,” he promised, “unicorns and fairies and all.”
“I look forward to it! Oh, gentlemen, don't forget,” Stanton called after them, “Santa hats are mandatory!”
1.
“Did you decorate your unicorns?”
Really, Jared thought, it was almost impressive how much disdain could be injected into a single word. He stared back at Karp nonplussed. “They wanted to look festive! 'Tis the season to be jolly and all that.”
Mulberry and Sparkles whinnied in agreement. Golden Moon nibbled at Karp's pants. The trio had tinsel draped around their horns and the fairies had thoughtfully woven green and red ribbons into their manes.
“Hey! Off!” Karp pushed Golden Moon away.
“Also,” Jared added pointing to a spot right above Peter's left shoulder, “Peter's fairies got dressed up too!”
Amaryllis and Tatiana waved. They were both clothed in miniature red Santa dresses and tiny Santa hats. However, in true fairy style and despite the cold weather, they had opted not to wear boots, but instead remained barefoot. In unison, they blew a kiss at Damien and then fluttered off, down the hallway to where the sounds of festivities where starting to perk up.
Damien stared. “Where did you find...?”
“No idea, bro,” Peter said affably; he readjusted his own Santa hat, “Christmas magic and all that jazz.”
Damien rolled his eyes and poofed a dragon onto his shoulder.
The dragon, who was hatless, hissed and lashed its tail irritably.
Peter and Jared exchanged mock-disapproving looks.
“Seriously?” asked Peter. “It's Christmas time! You guys can't stop being constantly angry for two minutes?”
“Gentlemen! So good of you to be here!” Stanton strode into the small circle interrupting something that sounded like “Not with you two around...” from Damien's corner. He looked at the trio approvingly. “I'm glad to see you all wore your hats!”
Peter tipped forward in a half-bow and acted like he was going to take his hat off. “What can we say? Some days we like to dress up.”
“Karp's dragon isn't wearing a Santa hat,” said Jared righteously.
Karp shot him an annoyed look. “What are we, five? Are you going to tattle on everything I do now?”
“Karp's being a grumpypants,” Jared tattled.
“Damien's dragon? Ah, yes, Percy,” said Stanton catching sight of the dragon sitting on Karp's shoulder and ignoring Jared's last outburst. “Percy has a tendency to catch things on fire, so I suppose we'll have to let him get away with it this time.”
“Percival, Stanton,” sighed Karp tiredly, “this is Percival.”
Percival squawked indignantly.
“Yes, well,” Stanton harrumphed. “He looks like a Percy.”
“No, you don't,” Damien reassured Percival under his breath. He reached up and scratched under Percival's chin. “You really, really don't.”
2.
“Hey, girls! You came back!”
Tatiana and Amaryllis swooped down on either side of Peter's face and nuzzled his cheeks.
“Awwwww,” Peter grinned. He held up his cup and tilted it towards them at a 45 degree angle for easier access. “Eggnog?”
Carmen made a dubious face. “Are you sure you should be giving them alcohol?”
Peter shrugged. “Why shouldn't I be? Fairies like to have fun too, don't ya girls?”
Tatiana lifted her mouth from the rim of the cup and nodded; she had a foam beard bubbling on her chin.
Amaryllis giggled and leaned forward to wipe the foam off Tatiana's face.
“See,” said Peter, “they're just fine.”
Tatiana leaned backwards to avoid Amaryllis' hand, balanced unsteadily on the rim of the cup to pivot away....and promptly fell in with a soft “ploop!”
Amaryllis laughed and dove in after.
“Whoops,” said Peter peering into the cup.
“Huh,” said Carmen in the tone she used when she was trying very hard not to make judgmental statements.
“Are they drunk?” asked Jared in surprise, “Already?”
“No, no, no!” protested Peter giving Carmen a frantically innocent look, “they're not drunk. They're just...tipsy. You know, tiny bodies, tiny alcohol tolerance.”
Eggnog splashed over the rim of the mug and onto Peter's hand. The fairies had decided a “water-fight” was in order.
“Very tiny tolerance,” said Carmen, giving the mug another long look.
3.
Jared grinned and sidled up to Hanna, “I see you brought your sphinxes.”
“Just one,” said Hanna. She scratched down the sphinx's spine in between her wings. “I tried, but I couldn't keep her away.”
“That's what I hear happens.”
The sphinx, who was laying on the tabletop and was about the size of a large cat, closed her eyes and purred.
“Her name's Cassandra,” said Hanna.
“Cassandra, huh?” Jared leaned over and stroked a paw. “Well, you're a pretty girl, Cassandra, but you failed to follow dress code. Someone's not wearing a Santa hat.” He tut-tutted.
Cassandra opened one golden eye and magnanimously allowed Jared to keep petting her paw.
“It's okay,” Jared told Hanna conspiratorially, “Damien's dragon isn't wearing a Santa hat either.”
“It's Damien,” said Hanna with an amused shrug, “and it's his dragon. I think if they both had to wear Santa hats, something would get lit on fire.”
“Well,” she amended, taking a sip of eggnog, “more things would get set on fire anyways.”
4.
“Hey, don't look now,” Jared stage-whispered to Peter, “but I think there's a mermaid in the punchbowl.”
“Oh, that's one of Henderson's,” said Debbie helpfully. She munched on a chocolate covered pretzel. “Every year he does this. He drinks a little bit too much, gets a little bit happy and then boom! Mermaids!”
“And they end up the punchbowl, because...why again?” asked Peter.
Debbie looked up at him like it was obvious. “Well, where else are you going to put a mermaid on short notice? They need to be kept wet, right?”
“But in the punch bowl?” asked Jared in a tone that suggested he wasn't quite sure how he felt about this.
“That we drink out of?” asked Carmen in a tone that suggested that she knew exactly how she felt about it.
Debbie shrugged. “I think they like the colors?”
Peter, Jared and Carmen traded looks.
“Ew,” said Carmen.
Mulberry blew a raspberry in agreement.
5.
“Snraack!” snapped Percival angrily and spat out a small flame.
“Yowch!” said Peter, pulling back his hand and flapping it in the air frantically to cool it. He gave the dragon a dirty look. “I wasn't even trying to pet you that time!”
Percival snarled and made a cranky chattering noise with his teeth.
“What is with you?” Peter demanded.
“Were you going for the marshmallows?” asked Hanna, coming up beside Peter.
“Yeah, or piece of cheesecake,” Peter pouted. “I was going to dip it in the chocolate.”
“That would be your problem,” said Hanna wisely. She reached for a skewer and deftly snatched up two marshmallows. “Percival likes marshmallows. He's guarding them.”
“For who, Karp?”
“Nope,” Hanna shook her head, skewering the marshmallows. “Karp doesn't like marshmallows. As far as Percival's concerned, those marshmallows belong to him now.”
“So you're saying if I want marshmallows tonight, I have to sleep with Karp?”
Percival growled and shot out a flame that stopped just short of Peter's chest.
Hanna chuckled, “I'm saying if you want a marshmallow or anything dipped in chocolate you should learn to appease the dragon.”
She held out the skewer in front of Percival.
Obligingly, Percival lit them on fire.
Hanna blew them out and delicately pulled one off and gave it to Percival. “He prefers them cooked,” she explained, eating the other one.
“And he couldn't do this himself because...” asked Peter.
“Tiny arms; he can't reach far enough out to flame,” said Hanna. She held up a finger to her lips, “but don't bring it up. He's sensitive.”
“Huh,” said Peter. He looked at Percival consideringly.
“Rawr!” Percival challenged.
6.
Carmen leaned back against a wall and surveyed the room. Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers, as far as the eye could see.
And mythical creature guests, she thought wryly, like Noah's Ark meets Lisa Frank.
“Good to see you here, Miss Philips,” said Stanton coming up beside her. He nodded towards the crowd, “I must admit, though. I'm surprised you didn't bring one of your own.”
Carmen bit her lip and tilted her head in confusion, “Come again?”
Stanton frown in mild puzzlement, “You haven't gotten yours yet?”
“My what?”
“Ah, but of course,” Stanton smiled enigmatically, “Don't worry, my dear, lawyers aren't the only ones that get to have fun.” He winked.
“Uh huh,” said Carmen. She took a drink of eggnog.
Something soft and warm butted Carmen's leg.
Carmen looked down, “Well, hey there.”
Cassandra twined herself around Carmen ankles and purred.
“Looks like you just made yourself a friend,” Stanton smiled and patted Carmen on the back. “You seem like a cat kind of woman...”
7.
“Damn it, Henderson!” Damien none-to-gently dumped the tiny mermaid back into the punch bowl. “I almost drank you,” he told her remonstratively.
“Wheee!” said the mermaid, splashing in the mini-current. She swam to the edge of the punch bowl and propped herself up, fluttering her tail coquettishly.
“Uh, no,” said Damien with an unimpressed smile. “How 'bout you try that with someone else? Go flirt with Bash's fairies.”
“Meep!” said the mermaid with a frown and splashed punch at him.
“Getting into trouble again, Damien?” asked Hanna walking up beside him. She reached for a cup, saw the frowning mermaid and thought better of it.
“There was a mermaid in my punch,” said Damien petulantly, nodding at the punch bowl.
“I see that,” said Hanna, wandering in the direction of the eggnog. She made motion over her shoulder for Damien to follow. “Good thing you didn't drink her; she might've got stuck in your throat.”
“Ugh,” said Damien, following behind. “Sparkling sushi.”
Hanna twisted around and scrunched up her face in mild distaste, “Ewww.”
“What?” asked Damien innocently, “it's true.”
Hanna put a hand on her hip and gave Damien a disapproving look.
Damien shrugged.
A pair of fairies tittered drunkenly and hovered over them, holding a sprig of mistletoe between them.
Damien gave them the stink eye, “Really?”
The fairies chirruped happily, fearlessly and teetered unstably to the left. The one with blue wings sprinkled glitter on Damien's head.
Damien glared harder.
Hanna bit down on a smile. She reached over and dusted the glitter off Damien's head and away from his eyes. “Oh come on, Damien, it's Christmas time. Don't be such be such a Scrooge.” She let her hand drift to his shoulder and stepped closer. “Besides, it's not like we've never done this before.”
“Oh,I don't know,” said Damien smirking and suddenly in a much better mood. “It's been awhile. I might've forgotten how.”
“Mmmm,” purred Hanna. “I bet you haven't.”
“I bet you're right,” agreed Damien and smothered her smile with his.
8.
“Hey girl,” Peter greeted.
Cassandra growled.
“Er, lady,” Peter hastily amended. He held up a chocolate covered strawberry placatingly. “Strawberry?”
Cassandra sniffed the proffered treated thoughtfully. She batted her paws around it in a loose hold and brought the fruit to her mouth, biting it viciously.
“Heh. So bribery is all it takes to get on your good side, huh?” Peter crossed his arms and gave himself a mental congratulatory pat on the back. “I think I'm finally starting to get how this office works.”
Cassandra paused in the licking of her paws to give Peter a contemptuous look.
“Or maybe not?”
Cassandra resumed cleaning her paws and didn't deign to answer.
Golden Moon neighed and trotted over to them, his hooves click-clocking on the floor.
“Hey buddy!” Peter grinned and ruffled Golden Moon's ears. “Did you come to say hi?”
Golden Moon rubbed his head against Peter's waist.
“That's what I thought!” Peter laughed.
Cassandra sat up sharply, “Mew!”
Golden Moon turned towards her and made an inquisitive noise.
“Mew!” Cassandra repeated imperiously and in a single bound, hopped onto Golden Moon's back.
Golden Moon turned back towards Peter.
Peter put his hands up helplessly, “Don't look at me; you're the one who said yes to whatever she asked.”
“Mrummpf!” Golden Moon made a disagreeable sound through his nose.
“Mrr!” commanded Cassandra and clapped her paw to his side.
9.
“Hey,” said Jared popping up beside Peter, “Where are the marshmallows at? Sparkles is hungry!”
Sparkles nudged Peter's shoulder and made an inquisitive noise.
Peter reached behind him and patted Sparkles on the nose. “Over there,” he pointed, having long since realized the futility of discussing unicorn dietary restrictions with Jared, “next to the chocolate fountain. Be careful though, one of Karp's dragons has set up camp in front of the marshmallows.”
Jared frowned, “Karp likes marshmallows?”
“Nope, but his dragon does.”
“Huh,” said Jared. He turned to his unicorn. “You got that Sparkles?”
Sparkles tossed his head in understanding and trundled off in search of snacks.
“Krrash!” snarled Percival as Sparkles approached.
Unperturbed, Sparkles darted forward, stabbed a marshmallow with his horn and held it front of the dragon.
Percival growled and flamed it.
Sparkles whickered and shook his head to put out the flames. He offered up the blackened marshmallow to Percival again.
Percival hissed and then tentatively scraped off the gooey marshmallow with his claw. He eyed Sparkles suspiciously and licked the melted confection off his paw.
Sparkles made an encouraging noise.
“Shnck!” Percival grunted, in something like tolerance and scooted away from the marshmallows.
Sparkles whinnied happily.
10.
“Unfortunately, ladies and gentlemen, it is that time of the evening when I must insist you leave the office and go home to your loved ones. Or at least a luxury hotel room,” added Stanton with a leering grin. “Good night and good tidings to all! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays, or whatever holiday you kids are celebrating these days.”
Stanton's kirin standing next to him, stomped the floor once and a noise like a gong sounded.
“Merry Christmas, Stanton!”
“Well, look at you being resourceful,” Hanna ran her hand down Cassandra's back as she rode by on Golden Moon's back. Cassandra gave her a proud, pleased look over her shoulder.
She walked to where Damien was standing and tucked her hand into crook of his elbow. “Take me home?”
“Yeah, sure,” said Damien absentmindedly, “Have you seen Percival?”
“Isn't that him over there by there chocolate fountain?”
“Over where...?” Damien trailed off in annoyance.
On the table next to the much diminished chocolate fountain and an empty tray that had at one point held some sort of sweets, Percival lay on his belly, with half-open eyes and sticky marshmallow bits all around his mouth. Two of Peter's fairies, the same ones who'd flown around with the mistletoe, were massaging his back.
“Traitor,” said Damien, without heat.
“Mrawk!” protested Percival sleepily and rolled over on his side to give Tatiana and Amaryllis better access to his softer sides. The fairies giggled in unison and rubbed Percival's belly obligingly. Percival grunted happy smoke trails through his nose.
Hanna rolled her eyes and tugged on Damien's arm, “Come on, let's go.”
“Jared, come on, let's go home.”
“No wait! Peter, I gotta get her number first, I gotta get Jenna's number!”
“Jared, we've been over this,” Carmen sighed long-sufferingly, “If she's this drunk and she still hasn't given you her number, then you're not going to get it from her now.”
“Come on, buddy,” said Peter. He draped one of Jared's arms around his waist, “Let's go home, tuck the unicorns in bed, kiss the fairies goodnight, save Pindar...”
“Whoa, whoa, what?” Carmen stepped in front of the wobbling duo. “What's this about saving Pindar?”
“Didn't you get his phone calls?” asked Peter.
“Noooo,” said Carmen in a tone of growing concern.
Jared waved it off, “Isssh nothing big. Called when me and Jenna were talking. Something about not being alone, not so empty house, never smiling again...”
Something warm and soft bumped into Jared's hand.
Jared looked down and grinned. “Mulberry!” He squeezed Mulberry's nose happily.
Carmen looked at Peter with a dawning realization, “You don't think that he meant...”
Peter shook his head slowly, “No way, he could accidentally...”
“This is Pindar we're talking about...”
“Hey!” said Jared brightly, “do you think Pindar's at home alone with his dodos?”
Bonus: The Dodos (Because No One Should Be Alone When Their Friends Are At a Christmas Party Even If They Really Want to Be)
“So, ummmm, when do you think you guys are going to be coming home?” asked Pindar. He peered over his shoulder anxiously and then hurriedly back to the computer screen.
“Uh, I dunno,” said Peter. He looked at someone or something (probably Jared) off screen. “I mean, Jared looks pretty happy where he's at...”
“I am happy where I'm at!” shouted Jared from off-screen. “Let me see Pindar!”
Obediently, Peter turned the camera towards Jared.
“Pindar!” Jared waved at Pindar drunkenly with one hand, the other was wrapped around the waist of an equally drunk, very beautiful young lady with red hair, more than likely someone's secretary or a junior associate. “This is Jenna,” Jared called out, “she's from Iowa.”
Jenna laughed and a flower nymph dressed in hyacinth flowers poofed into existence in the air right next to her cheek. The nymph gracefully floated down to Jenna's shoulder and blew Jared a kiss.
Peter turned the camera back towards him. “I think we're going to be a while,” he said apologetically. He batted at his ear as something bright and sparkly flew up and hit it, “Ow! What's going--?” In the background, Pindar could hear the high-pitched sounds of fairy anger and what sounded like tiny fireworks exploding. “Okay, look, sorry, Pindar, but I'm going to have to let you go. Apparently, Tatiana and Amaryllis are mad at Jenna's nymphs because they keep touching the unicorns... I gotta go.”
“But wait! What about me?” whined Pindar as the screen flashed up, showing the connection had been disabled. He stuck out his bottom lip miserably.
“Squawk?” asked Terrence the Terrible politely. He fluffed his wings and tottled over to sit at Pindar's feet.
“Oh god,” said Pindar and pulled his feet up against him and into his chair. “Please don't eat me.”
“Smraw?” Mr. Scary Face trundled into the room and stood next to Terrence.
Terrence cocked his head to the side at Mr. Scary Face.
Mr. Scary Face cocked his head back at Terrence in response. “Squar!” He flapped his wings, jumped and ungracefully landed on Pindar's knees.
“Ahhhh!” screamed Pindar.
There was another flapping of wings and Terrence landed on the computer desk next to Pindar. “Squar!”
“Oh no...” moaned Pindar fearfully.
“Squaaawww!” said Mr. Scary Face happily and snuggled against Pindar's shoulder.
“Squa!” chirped Terrence in agreement and rubbed his head on Pindar's hand.
“Meep!” Pindar whimpered.
Bonus the Second: Because Lawyers Aren't the Only Ones Who Get to Have Fun
“Seriously?” Carmen put her hands on her hips. “We have unicorns, fairies, and dodos running around and you guys are going to make a big deal out of Kipling?”
“Yes,” said Jared.
“Absolutely,” agreed Peter emphatically.
“He's a kitty-cat!” protested Carmen.
“Yeah, a kitty-cat that could eat us!” Peter flapped a hand in Kipling's general direction. “Look, look, just look at him!”
On cue, Kipling opened his mouth in a large sweeping yawn; his white teeth flashed in the light.
“Look, teeth!” said Jared, “my unicorns don't have teeth that big!”
“Karp's dragons have teeth and they set fire to things and they hate us,” pointed out Carmen, “Kipling doesn't hate us.”
“He could still kill us,” muttered Pindar under his breath.
Carmen shot him a dark look, “I could kill you too.”
“Meep!” apologized Pindar.
Carmen turned back to Peter and Jared who were suddenly very interested in the floor. “Really guys? Is this how it's going to be?”
Peter and Jared looked at each. “All I'm saying is that I'm going to be very sad if one of my unicorns goes missing.”
“Or one of my fairies!” added Peter.
Carmen rolled her eyes, “You boys.” She bent down and scratched behind Kipling's ears.
Kipling the cougar purred.
P.S. – In case anyone's wondering. Percival is the first dragon in
jekesta's post and Mr. Scary Face and Terrence are the first and third dodos.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}